Going Ladyboy and back

As I blogged some time earlier, the concept of what the word Katoey means in Thai is not the same like Transvestite or Transsexual in western languages. For some it ist the urgent wish to become a women, others rather have it as their way they want to live their lives. The word „gay“ does not exist that long in Thailand – actually just a couple of decades. And meanwhile being gay has become more trendy than the old-fashioned Katoeys.
Also in Thailand there are many people around, who are actually just a kind of feminine gays, but just because it is so easy and common to live as a ladyboy they try that out first. Later they will find out, that they are no girls and don`t want to live their lives that way. They just want to be boys loving other boys.
I have two friends of that kind. Both lived their late teens and early twens as ladyboys, wearing their hair long, fancy clothes and make-up. Then they changed quite abruptly to live as boys again. „I just am not“, one of my friends told me. „It`s boring to put on make-up.“ Now he has beenn living as boy for serveral years again and you can clearly see, that he never actually had been a ladyboy like me and my other friends are. We still call him „Katoey Pom Sun“ – „Short Hair Ladyboy“. And this term fits as of course he is still quite effeminate.
And that`s actually the reason why a psychological examination is mandatory before a sex reassigning surgery is done. A trained psychologist would have found out from the very first time he had talked to my friend and told him that he was going the wrong way.
The example of my other friend makes the reasons why people become ladyboys and then come back even more clear. He had been a ladyboy, too and came back to be a boy. Still for him there is no clear border between being a ladyboy and being gay. I have been knowing him for some years right now and I definetly know that he is nothing but gay. Still, on his birthdays he celebrates in a dress. And also in everyday`s life he applies a little eyeliner and wears fancy unisex clothes. I guess that is nothing so special in Europe and the US. I know that there are a lot gay people over there living just that way I described my friend. So maybe the whole idea of putting yourself, your sexual orientation and your way of life in drawer is wrong.
Of course for us transsexual Katoey our way is clear and there won`t be anything that can change us. But for all the other ones – why not? There are no frontiers.

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