Transsexuals and Society - Obliged to Tell?

Year after year around the globe Big Brother Shows are aired and even though the concept is a pretty worn out Big Brother candidates still make it into yellow press pages and web magazines. Since watching people sprawling in a confined space and not doing anything producers came up with the idea to put more exotic and outstanding personalities in the house to provoke scenes of confrontation and surprise.

In 2004 Australian Big Brother producers had the idea to put Miriam Rivera – then a transsexual celebrity - into the house. The concept worked in other countries as well although the expected scenes of surprise and confrontation never ocurred. Probably the audience was simply curious about those mythical beauties.

This year a caramel-skinned belle named Ariadne Thalia appeared in Big Brother Brasil 2011.

Being a transsexual myself, it is not difficult to tell that she is a member of my tribe, but apparently the brazilian public has not been aware of that fact and so still are the other competitors in the BB house.

Now, there is a widespread debate going on in brazilian social networks in the blogosphere whether or not Ariadne is obliged to tell the other ionhabitants of the house about her transsexuality. While amost every blog I read honoures her as a beautiful women with a very female physique – of the kind that most of the men go for.

So far there’s consensus. But is Ariadne really obliged to tell everyone about her biography? This is where the ethical questions start.

“She is fooling everyone, she should not do that”, says one of the comments in one blog.

But why is she fooling anyone since she is not pretending to be something else than she is. She even had undergone sex reassignment surgery in Thailand. So she is definetely more a women than many born ones.

One blogger puts it like this: “Why is a problem that you had once in your life and that is now resolved still obliging you to tell strangers about it? Do you really have to introduce yourself telling everybody that you had suffered from gastroesophageal reflux a couple of years ago?“

Sure not.

But some counter she had modified her body to look a way nature had not made it.

“She is not telling the truth”, says one of her critics.

So given the case a person had been fat but had had a stomach reducing surgery to help her loose weight. Is this now slim and beautiful person obliged to tell everyone that she had bee fat before?

“What distinguishes a former-fat from a former-male?” says a Brazilian blog.

I believe this to be a life long problem of transsexuals. No matter if they have become much more beautiful and feminine than most born female still people feel being lied to. Many individuals (mostly men) even seem to be really proud having been able to spot a transsexual and yell their “discovery” all over the place.

Many blogs dealing with the Ladyboy topic have at least one post on “How to spot a Ladyboy” many of those blogs even seem to only consist of those guidelines.

Sometimes some men even will tell a transsexual right away that they know. The reason behind that behavior will certainly always be secretive to me. Is it because they believe every transsexual is trying to hit on them and to take them home. Or is it their own uncertainness and and paranoia.


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Anonym hat gesagt…

Hi Victoria, I commented on your posts several times before.
Petty you don't make more frequent postings, because I'm very much interested about your various topics concerning transsexuals.
I guess if somebody had a full operation, there's no need whatsoever to tell outsiders, but once in a relationship, it probably would make sence to tell about your history. I have a friend who has a relation with a full-op transsexual for 4 years now and claims to only have found out about it after two years, by checking her passport. The only things he noticed on beforehand was a little lower voice and a dry p*ssy, so they always needed some gelly..
But I find it hard to believe, I met her and even though she looks 100% like a lady, there are always small differences for the trained eye, similar like you mentioned regarding the Brasil contestant in this post.
The friend I talked about keeps everything a secret and nobody including his family knows about it except me. Now they have an open relationship and he meets other new transsexuals on a regular basis. So it might be a case of wishful thinking: No see, no ask..
I strongly advised him to be more open about it. but he's very much doubting about his sexual orientation, he even still has a wish to get children, so that makes things more complicated.
I have a relation with a pre-op transsexual for more than one year now and in the mean time I informed all my friends and family. Also when we go out because of her height and low voice it cannot be hidden. But who cares, I don't.

SFChris hat gesagt…

I do understand the human response to see lurid or malicious intent in any tranny chaser's comments from the "Oh-GAWD-it's-one-of-those-annoying-guys-again" perspective of the beleaguered beautiful transgendered woman. At the same time, it's not so easy for guys like myself to say anything to a transgendered woman without my motives being questioned and my lot thrown in with the most tactless knuckle dragging neatherals to walk the planet. I do feel like the typical story that black guys tell of walking across an intersection and all the car locks clacking down as they walk past. How long is it acceptable to not disclose the fact that you're perfectly okay with cisgendered and transgendered people as relationship partners. People have past memories that echo around in their head that they want to talk about, that include them when they were the other sex and of the unique and breathtaking challenges they've encountered as trans individuals. Without knowing if I'm okay with all that, trans people stay in the closet with me. The closet is something I spent my whole life swearing I wouldn't be a part of any more, I know firsthand what a soul stealing fear factory that can be. I feel complicit in the legacy of the closet, if I don't make it known at some point early on that I am not one of those transphobic and homophobic other guys. I don't think I'm alone here. The introspection and soul searching that changes a person between the ears, is often what draws me to transgendered people, not what does or doesn't change between the legs. While I don't doubt that men are often pigs, I also don't doubt that there is much nobility and even misunderstood expressions of tribal loyalty therein, amongst the swine.

Victoria hat gesagt…

Well, as you write: Even with the most feminine Trans-Girls there is always something "different" - most of the times not even something bad. It might just be the distinct sensuality that we have or the humor, etc. (I sure can't be neutral commenting on that :-).
As it had been in the Brazilian Big Brother Show it is most of the times with feminine Transsexuals: People will whisper among themselves: "There's something about her." Most of them still never find out the "truth" though.
I always enjoy it when people have known me so long, that they eventually stop wondering and simply take that as a given without ever asking and without ever knowing.
Much ruder I find it, when men ask me about it. Because I don't wanna know how many born girls these guys have asked before if they were Transsexuals just because of there Trans-Paranoia.